The Sum

from Just Songs by Tristan Zaba

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lyrics

Truthfully a voice cannot be anything,
and neither in reality can a self.

I am the sum of my experiences,
And my ability to convey them to you.

The sum of my myriad impulses,
And my absolute faith in their importance.

The sum of my many lives,
And my many many rebirths...

As a totem, or a killer,
Or an animal, or a lamb,
Or a leader, or a brick.
As a spirit on the land,
Or as something with intention.

“And what about love?” You may ask
This shape that says it knows itself...

Well, I say “that is something special,”
When meeting a handful fills the void

Of the mystery you may or may not know
Your intentions to truly be.

When eternal blanks in whitewashed time
Are carved in the way the holes suggest...

As faces, or places,
Or hates, or chimneys,
Or grasses, or idols,
Or might nots and will bes,
Or the most ferocious weapons.

“And why must I suffer?” Night asks
This Daylight hiding in plainest sight.

“To build yourself” you empty slate,
“To love yourself” you ego freak,

“To destroy yourself” you full-formed light,
“To laugh at yourself” you hardened mold,

“To detest yourself” you happy clam,
“To know yourself” you time-scarred mass

Of issues, and tissues,
And war, and mortar,
And cloth, and sorrow,
And brutality, and ardour,
And peace you know is there, somewhere.

I am the sum of what is none,
And everything I have ever thought.

I am the sum of everything that will be,
And everything I know cannot!

credits

from Just Songs, released July 27, 2020

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about

Tristan Zaba Toronto, Ontario

Canadian composer, performer, and producer.

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